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Feeling perky [Feb. 16th, 2005|08:05 pm]
[Current Mood |chipperchipper]

Yea I know like 5 minutes ago I was like AAHHH but I was in the shower and started thinking about the song writers competition at Rapunzel's and how it would be awesome if baby could enter it but then I remembered how he's depressed that he doesn't have any new stuff and then I thought about him singing a song we wrote together, that isn't written yet...but in my mind's eye I saw him seeing this. Haha...showers are amazing things...

it's just a piece of the song that is to be....and he would be singing it...

feed me seafood with curly
as I'm discussing ghosts and
and we'll laugh and play
and fly away,
fly away from this
and go to the moon
where we pull right up to
the front,
talk to an alien or two,
cuz this is us and what we
and we'll float away,
forgetting reality...

it's sooooo not done but it so just popped into my head...and I know what I want it to sound like too....think of Cake talking it...only not quite like Cake, because it's original...but basically like, smooth cool talking with crazy style and some skat in the middle.
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(no subject) [Feb. 16th, 2005|06:42 pm]
[Current Mood |blahblah]
[Current Music |Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds...the verve pipe version]

I'm still stressed out. Every little thing is just UUURRRRGGGG.....making me want to explode. I have been trying to listen to the Freshmen online for a week now...because it's my song you know, and so I was trying to listen to it today because my computer was finally working...and my dad walks in and turns on the tv. I asked him to please mute it so I can listen to my song...and he was like "why?" but he finally did...but then he was trying to talk to me...and he started walking around the house and doing stuff...and I don't know how to explain it but I just felt so ANGRY. Like, how dare he ruin my moment with my song, you know? It sounds ridiculous...but the thing is...I was waiting so long to just have peace and silence around me so I could sit and vibe to my song and get my mind off of everything. UUUUUUUgggghhh....and I was so getting ready and preparing myself to talk to my parents this week. Well, by parents I mean mom. I was ready. Kindave. As much as I'd ever be...because I kept telling myself she'd understand. But then baby came over last night...and we went outside to sit in the chair and talk because it was pretty outside..and I brought a blanket because it's cozy, you know. We were TALKING...UPRIGHT....IN A CHAIR....WITH OUR HANDS IN SIGHT...and mom goes "Excuse me? You two do NOT need to be under a blanket." and I told her "What do you think we were doing? I was cold!" It sounds less dramatic online, but it's things like that that are so insulting to me. Really. And then when I came inside she told me to pull my pants up because my tummy was showing right in front of him. How am I EVER going to tell her that we've been together and he's seen all of me, if she doesn't even want him seeing my tummy? MY GOD. A month ago she told me that she thought I was the most emotionally stable teenager she's ever met, and she was surprised with how tuned into my emotions I am and how I know exactly what I want and don't want. I HATE being so emotional in the bad sense. It's not like I can't see it. I know that if I keep holding everything in...I'm going to get worse, and more stressed, and more on edge...and it sucks because I know what's wrong, and I know how to fix it, but I CAN'T. Right now I'm just looking forward to going to cass's (it's weird saying that because I know a cassie and a cassidy so if I call cassidy cass what am I supposed to call cassie?)anyway I mean cassidy's, and if it actually happens this weekend that would be G-R-EAT because I want to see a freaky movie and just CHILL. CHILLING IS GOOD.
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(no subject) [Feb. 15th, 2005|03:54 pm]
[Current Mood |confusedconfused]
[Current Music |Growing up Gotti song...hahahaha...from the show]

Well I've pretty much decided that I should just tell my parents everything. As in me and Sterling, and how I was a little pot smoker for over a year but quit, how I like to party, how I'm not ashamed of any of it. How I've wanted to be able to talk about this stuff, but I've always been intimidated by my parents to the point of never saying anything. I'm sick of it. I feel like I have nobody to turn to in that respect, and Sterling can only console me so much when it comes to these matters. I love sex. A lot. It's amazing and wonderful and I don't feel like I should be ashamed in admitting that to my parents. I've been with someone for 2 years, and I feel like we have an even healthier relationship now. And I'm not ashamed about the pot either. I quit on my own free will, because I didn't like how it made me feel. I just don't know how to say these things to them. I mean, they already assumed everything, and I tried so hard to gain their trust...and I don't want them to think that I've been purposely lying to them about everything. I don't do that. When I say we're going out to the movies we go out to the movies. When I say I'll be back at 10 I'm back at 10. I just don't know anymore. I feel like I'm a completely different person than my parents can see, or want to see. That would be fine, except I get so introverted, and end up dealing with everything myself. And in doing so I'm making myself inredibly stressed in every aspect of my life. I can't do that anymore, so I guess I'm just going to have to flat out tell them. I don't know how I'm going to be able to do that though. What would you do, my friends?
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:) [Feb. 13th, 2005|10:51 pm]
[Current Mood |gratefulgrateful]
[Current Music |Grammy's]

Well, I was feeling poopy, like I said, but somehow baby knows how to make me feel so much better about everything. I have no idea how he does it, but I'm glad he does. I spent the day with him yesterday, and let's just say, he's perfect. Thank you honey for letting me cry, and listening to me, and telling me it's ok. And thank you for knowing just the right things to say, and rubbing my back while you hugged me. Thank you. You know me way too well. And singing to me. Sweetie, you have no idea how much I missed that. And, well, hehe. I love you Sterling...happy Valentine's Eve.

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Randomness [Feb. 10th, 2005|08:09 pm]
[Current Mood |rejuvenatedrejuvenated]
[Current Music |The freshman again. I LOVE THIS FRIGGIN SONG]

Have you ever actually stopped to think about the stuff in life that is just so awesome but nobody acknowledges? Like popcorn, for instance. Life would suck without popcorn. And pancakes. Now, pancakes, they're an interesting creature. They had to of been a mistake. Seriously. Nobody sat down and said I'm going to make a bread cake. I think that some cave man somewhere left his flour out on nice big grinding rock, and as he drifted off to sleep for his afternoon nap in his 100% fur tighty whities, some mountain water dribbled off of a cliff and mixed with the flour. The burning hot sun, my friends, did it's magic and BOOM...we have pancakes. Nevermind the fact that they didn't have pans back then. Pan is probably a modern translation of rock anyway. And processed foods. You people can diss them all you want, but if I had to eat real food all the time I would die. Who doesn't crave those little packages of plastic cheese and white flour crackers that come with the useless little red stick, every now and then? Really though, that stick is a piece of poop. It doesn't serve any purpose at all. I end up just using my finger anyway. Which is really un-sanitary if you think about it but whatever. I like those little packages of fake cheese and crackers. Anywho this randomness is bound to continue at a later time, I'm sure, but I have to go eat.
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People are stupid. [Feb. 8th, 2005|04:24 pm]
[Current Mood |stressedstressed]
[Current Music |The Freshman]

I had the CRAZIEST Sunday on the PLANET. It sucked. I went shopping with Sterling in
C-ville, went back to his house, which he didn't want to do because he and his grandpa don't get along, and when we got there I called my mom to let her know I wasn't dead, then his grandpa comes down and tells me to call my parents because they are really mad at Sterling and probably don't want me to see him anymore, which was crazy because I had just talked to my mom, and then g-pa tells me he went to my house while we were gone in C-ville, and apparently he told my parents that Sterling quit college and that we are always running off together and doing the dirty, and then I freaked out because I thought my parents were going to interrogate me when I got home, and Sterling freaked out because I was freaking out, and then we decided that it would be best to just spill everything and be honest if they asked, which they didn't in the end, but I thought they would, which was the point, and I was really upset, and so was baby, and I didn't know what to do, and I feel poopy still, and I'm trying to get a job at Georges, but they haven't called back, and I feel poopy, and I need to go to Cassidy's this weekend and watch girly movies and eat cake and chocolate and chips and scream about love and parents and sex and friends and school and college and the whole Germany deal and not worry about anything and whoever left that dumbass message about school house rock needs to get a life because that was lame.
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Happy and Mad [Feb. 1st, 2005|03:49 pm]
[Current Mood |distresseddistressed]
[Current Music |Follow by Incubus]

I'm having a good day and a bad one all at the same time. It's Sterling and I's year and 11 month anniversary...but he had to go back to college. It's ok though. I love you boo! I had the shittiest luck today, though. Seriously. The one day I wear sandals, Thomas decides to step on me. WTF?? I managed not to hit my toes on anything at school after the surgery, and the one day I wear sandals he steps on me. It hurt like a bitch. I didn't think anything of it until I saw blood on my sock. I took it off, and not to be too graphic, but basically, my toenail is no longer attached to my body. Thomas..what a bastard. And I mean, it wasn't really a big deal...it hurts..but it will grow back and all...but I mean, I was upset. And in drama everyone just left without saying anything to me. That pissed me off. If one of my friends had hurt themselves I would have said something to them. I mean maybe I shouldn't even think about stuff like that, but it's hard not to. I hate to get blown off. It doesn't matter to what extent..it just urks me to no end. I know...this is crazy right. Shayna...? Pissed off?? Irritated?? THE HORROR.
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baby...:) [Jan. 31st, 2005|10:50 pm]
[Current Mood |giddygiddy]

Sterling Sterling Sterling...In a little over an hour we will have been together for a year and eleven months. Imagine that! We're such crazy kids. I'm going to allow myself to get a little mushy. Not much! Just a little...for now. I am SOOO incredibly glad that I decided to go to that boyscout gig...even though it was freezing cold and I didn't feel like going anywhere at ALL! But I went!! And who did I see there? Why, I saw you...all shy and endearingly dorky. Naturally, I gravitated towards you! I must say, lemon yellow is quite dashing on you! And yea...no matter how much you tell me you wanted to talk to me the whole night....pssshhhhhhh....lol. JUST KIDDING! You still make me as nervous as you did then...even 10 million tickle fights later. I love you honey,

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I'm just a bill.... [Jan. 31st, 2005|10:19 pm]
[Current Mood |bouncybouncy]
[Current Music |You make me wanna LA LA...lalala...lalala..]

Ahhhhh....I haven't watched Kid House Rock in AGES!!! WHY IS IT COMING BACK TO HAUNT ME???? I'm just a bill...yes I'm only a bill...and I'm sittin' here on Capitol Hill...It's just madness, I say. MADNESS. Anywho, I'm Shayna! Definitely not to be confused with Shannon, by any means. How hard can it be to not get those two names mixed up? They are NOTHING alike. Geeze. My friend Gabi convinced me to do this journal thing. Well, she didn't really tell me too...but whatever. That's not the point. The point is I'm here! Woo-hoo!
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